Exotic Shimmer
2009
Please give me feedback on this excerpt.?
I never knew there could be so many colors in the world when I saw the fireworks. I mean, when I was in preschool, I thought that all the colors in the world were stuffed into my crayon box (set of 24 Crayola colors). I thought wrong. There were exotic-looking turquoises, hot pinks, and royal reds…shimmering golds and silvers…and many others I can’t even name. The one that captured my heart most was a purple-indigo-deep blue that burst out just over a pink-and-green firework, cascading in a shower of fiery glass droplets.
In preschool, I thought that all the colors in the world were
stuffed into a crayon box, But tonight, watching the
fireworks, I saw hot pinks, royal reds and exotic turquoises
mingled with shimmering golds and silvers. One, a deep
Indigo, captured my heart as it burst out through a pink
and green cascade of fiery glass droplets.
Just a suggestion, but this might flow a little better. Wonderful
imagery!!!
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